Today is my last day in Westport. I’ve become attached and my habits are mostly, well habits now. ...
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With intelligence and might, the prosperous sea captain Grainne O'Malley and powerful chief, Richard in Iron Burke, must sacrifice everything to save their Clans and the land to which they belong from the voracious empire swallowing everything Grainne promised to maintain.
-You are descending from a long line of great leaders and your descendants will carry your legacy, yet fall, supplanted by an béal craosach, The Voracious Mouth. [1]
-You will navigate storms on land and sea with Réalt Eolais (Star of Knowledge) and Claíomh Solais (Sword of Light)
-You will gather up your full inheritance, even though it all be taken, and yet at long last, regained. You must promise to maintain this.
-This beautiful land of your ancestry will be taken by treachery and yet this will never be taken: Your love enduring, and your family, always.
-At the end of your days, you will dwell in the mists with the fianna[2] and your name will be a song, sung beneath the stars.
[1]A reader of Irish will know béal is the root word for the English language and also a reference to the cardinal sin of gluttony.
[2]Fianna is warrior. Fianna Fáil, that is, “, Soldiers of Destiny"
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I always knew him. Yet it was at my wedding to Donal of the Battles O’Flaherty, that I most remember Richard’s gaze that brought a falter to my step, reddening to my cheeks and rasping to my breathing. I had to look away, but I never forgot him.
You have truly mastered the voice. This is all just beautifully written. I love that you are jumping in at this point of the story and I look forward to seeing how you weave back in those most beautiful scenes from Grainne’s early life. Quite the challenge.
timy S.
[This part is] primarily narrative without scenes or conflict, mainly Grace reflecting on what she sees. I think a dramatic scene would lure us more effectively into Grace’s world with the elements featured that will figure in the story: the loss of a vibrant culture, the compromises that must be made to survive, Grace’s future as a leader. Maybe even a flashforward to create foreboding. The speech is a great centerpiece. Richard and Grace’s intimacy and happiness is beautiful and perhaps you could give a hint that Richard thinks of her as an equal?
bonnie k.
You have really immersed yourself in these times and ways. G’s voice gets more nuanced and vivid with each draft you submit. The details you choose to paint the setting continue to become more striking and affecting; they light up my brain with colorful associations and pull me into the rain, the landscape, the moods. Brava! I have a hunch your new focus on this part of G’s life will have you writing some key scenes that will heighten the stakes, the intrigue, the pathos, the love and suffering of this remarkable woman. Have a great summer writing her, and a great September living in her stomping grounds!
katie d. writing coach
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Email: Susan@TheGrainneProject.com
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